Valentine' s Day

Valentine's Day

So today is Valentine's Day....or shame on you for being single day. I wonder if I will ever get married? I pray every night that I would. I don't date much. In fact I have not been on a date in almost 2 years. I guess I will meet the right girl someday. A lot of my friends have done the E-Harmony thing. I have not. Maybe it is because I am scared, but I think it is because I feel as though I would be trying too hard to find someone. I don't want a girl to be the sole focus of my life...Yet girls always end up being just that. I saw the girl that I love today. I have loved her for almost 9 years now. Every time I look at her I forget who I am and only see her. When I am with her I don't think about the fact that I think I am fat and unattractive. I wonder if she knows how I feel about her? We dated once. Best 2 weeks of my life. It did not work out though. Does she know that though I manage to live my life, but I would be hers with just one look? For now all I know to do is be myself. I will try and love people and show mercy and grace to those who don't deserve it. (myself included) I hope that I will be with Her one day. Until then I will workout, be depressed and happy in the same day, go to school, love my friends and family, play music, read, run, workout, and eat gummy bears.